BPD Mom

What You Might Have Experienced:

* Emotional unpredictability – Affection could turn to rage in a moment.

* Guilt and manipulation – Love often came with strings attached.

* Fear of abandonment – Her threats of leaving—or forcing you to—made love feel conditional.

* Role reversal – You were the emotional caretaker instead of the child.

* Walking on eggshells – Her moods dictated your safety, so you learned to shrink yourself.

 How This Can Show Up in Adulthood:

* Chronic People-Pleasing – You learned love meant compliance.

* Fear of Conflict – Raised voices or emotional intensity may trigger deep panic.

* Low Self-Worth – You internalized her projections and made them your truth.

* Insecure Attachment – You're terrified of being abandoned yet scared of being too close.

* Emotional Dysregulation – You may struggle to trust your own feelings, because hers always overruled yours.

 Healing Is Possible (Even If She Never Changes):

 1. Learn to Name What Happened

This wasn’t just “a tough childhood.” You survived emotional instability that trained your brain to stay on high alert. Naming it = reclaiming power.

 2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Yes—even with her. Emotional safety is a birthright, not a betrayal.

 3. Reparent Yourself

Show up for your inner child with consistency, kindness, and calm—the things she couldn’t provide.

 4. Seek Support Without Shame

You are not “crazy.” Therapy (especially trauma-informed or DBT-based) can help you untangle what’s hers from what’s yours.

 5. Forgiveness Isn’t Required—But Freedom Is

You don’t have to excuse the pain. But you do deserve peace. Choose it for you.

 For the Adult Child Who’s Still Hurting:

You were not too sensitive.

You were not the problem.

You were a child doing your best in a storm no one saw but you.

You didn’t deserve chaos in place of care.

You didn’t deserve silence when you needed soothing.

And you are not doomed to repeat what hurt you.

Break the cycle. Heal forward.

Because your story is still being written—and you’re the one holding the pen now.