Childhood Wounds run Deep

“It wasn’t your fault. But it is your healing.”

Childhood is supposed to be the sanctuary where we learn safety, trust, and love. But for many, it becomes the battlefield where identity is wounded before it can fully form. When your earliest caregivers—those meant to protect you—inflict emotional harm, the impact doesn’t vanish with time. It lingers, often buried deep, and resurfaces in adulthood through abandonment issues, dysfunctional relationships, and a painful, persistent fear: "Am I truly lovable?"

 The House of Pain: A Childhood of Chaos

Imagine being a child in a home where the rules change with the wind.

A mother whose love felt like a minefield. She raged without warning, switching from tenderness to terror in seconds. Her words cut deeper than silence ever could. You learned to walk on eggshells, hyper-aware of her moods. You weren’t nurtured—you were managed. Emotionally manipulated. You became the adult in the room far too soon.

Then there was the father. Charming. Selfish. A liar who painted himself as the victim, but wore betrayal like cologne. He left—not just the marriage, but the family, you included. And when he chose the other woman over the home he helped create, a message etched itself into your bones:

“I am not enough to stay for.”

 How Trauma Becomes a Blueprint

This isn’t just a bad memory—it’s trauma. And trauma doesn’t stay in the past. It teaches your nervous system to live in fight, flight, or freeze. It hijacks your sense of worth and rewires your expectations in love.

In adulthood, you might notice:

* Panic when someone pulls away—even slightly.

* Over-attachment or people-pleasing, desperate not to be abandoned.

* Sabotaging healthy relationships because safety feels unfamiliar.

* Settling for less, because some love, even painful, feels better than none.

* Distrust of intimacy, while also craving closeness.

This is not weakness. This is a wound still seeking care.

 Reparenting the Inner Child: Steps Toward Healing

Healing childhood trauma isn't about forgetting—it’s about reprocessing and reclaiming your power. It’s not a straight path. It spirals, but with each turn, you rise.

1) Name the Truth, No Matter How Ugly

Denial keeps you trapped. Say it plainly: “My mother was emotionally abusive. My father abandoned me.” This isn't about blame—it’s about clarity. You cannot heal what you won’t name.

2) Reclaim Your Inner Child

That little version of you still lives inside, waiting for someone to finally choose them. Let that someone be you. Listen to their fears. Validate their pain. Give them the consistency and compassion they never got.

3)Therapy Is Not Weakness—It’s Resistance

A good trauma-informed therapist can help you unravel the old narratives. EMDR, somatic therapy, or inner child work can rewire the very foundation that pain tried to build.

4) Set Boundaries Like Your Life Depends on It—Because It Does

Stop bleeding yourself dry for people who wouldn’t even offer you a bandage. Boundaries are the language of self-worth.

5) Redefine Love

If chaos was your norm, peace might feel boring. If manipulation was love, kindness might feel suspicious. Re-teach your heart what healthy love feels like—calm, safe, honest. Start with how you treat yourself.

 A Message for the One Still Struggling

To the adult still haunted by the child within: I see you.

You weren’t too sensitive. You weren’t too needy. You were a child trying to survive in a war zone no one acknowledged. That strength you built to endure it? It’s still in you. But now, you don’t have to survive—you get to live. You get to heal.

Healing doesn’t erase what happened. But it gives you back your voice. It gives you back choice. And with each layer you peel away, you meet the real you—not the wounded version trying to earn love, but the whole version that is love.